T-shirts and Twilight

I have this guy-frend. For all intents and puposes, let's call him Richard. Ol' Dick and I tend to spend a great deal of time with one another (few druken marriage proposals from him aside) and I truly tend to enjoy his company. To be honest, I allowed a dangerous flirtation with pseudo-dating, but considering neither of us is seriously interested in the dating business, we continue to pass the time by spontaneous friend dates. This is the kind of friend that I once asked "What would you change about me if you could?" And he answered. And I regretted asking. Figures.

There has been, however, one established date. And this is that story.

Before the Twilight series came to film, I jumped on the book bandwagon at the behest of my friends. I then journeyed on and eventually forced Dick to watch the movie with me (which he fondly entitled "Twister" or "Twizzler"). I then told him a brief synopsis of the rest of the story and he said that when the next movie (which he entitled "Boo Moon") came out, he would take me on a "real date" to see it. Free movie and dinner? Sure. My response: "As long as you pay and bring flowers."

I should mention that we referred back to the coming promise of this date for at least 3 months.

The day comes and we plan to attend with a couple of friends of ours (one a contributor to this blog who can attest to the validity of this story) and he arrives. Let me paint a picture:

1. He is wearing a tuxedo t-shrt, jeans,and sports coat (Really? are you MOCKING me?)
2. His first words are "I was going to stop by and get flowers ay CVS, but I didn't."
3. He has no money to pay for the movie ticket.

There is a phrase, a sort of MO if you will, that I have come to live by.

"I am sorry, but I do not have time to teach you how to be a man."

I do adore Dick; however, I am prepared for next time: I have a bikini t-shirt in my drawer ready and "allowed" him to buy my dinner/drinks at the next druken proposal opportunity. Fair is fair, ya know?